Monday, February 7, 2011

5 THINGS I WISH I'D DONE FROM THE BEGINNING

Just reflecting on the almost ten years in full-time ministry (ok, I think my internship could actually count as two years!), I was thinking of what I wish I could go back and convince myself to do from the beginning. So here are my top 5 things I'd recommend to April 2000 me(in no particular order), and what I'm working on now.

1. Get out of your stinking office! Seriously, you can have the baddest calendar on the planet complete with the most popular fonts, but if you're not spending a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME with the people you're actually ministering to and with, what ARE you doing? --What I've done recently is to make a rotation of schools to visit. It's much easier to keep a time set aside when it's on the calendar. It's not a perfect system, but it's working WAY better than before.

2. Accountability, accountability, accountability. You're in a job where not many bother to ask you how YOU'RE doing spiritually; just face it and get used to it. For real, get somebody whom you can trust in and count on to check in with you, making sure you're spending time with Jesus, growing in your faith, and taking your days off. This will make or break you; so let it make you.--I do not know where I'd be without my accountability partners, but I bet I wouldn't be in ministry and I'd probably be miserable.

3. Build relationships with parents as well as students. This is one you're going to be tempted to gloss over for a while; but you're an idiot if you do. YOU ARE NOT THE MAIN SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE IN A STUDENT'S LIFE. And that's OK. Start meeting parents, get to know them, befriend them, be there for them. This pays big dividends down the line.Do not skip this.--This is something I've known for a while, but am trying to do a much better job of recently. The longer I do this, the more I see the benefits, whether it's bragging on a kid's progress, or the ability to ask what's really going on at home: THIS IS INVALUABLE.

4. Let other people help you. Ok, you do this full-time and there are times you're going to think "I can't believe this is part of my job! It's more fun than work!" That's fine. But the old adage "many hands makes light work" is just as true today as it ever was. There are some things you're not good at- swallow your pride and let somebody who is talented in an area do what you will most definitely screw up- EVEN IF THEY DON'T GET IT DONE THE WAY YOU'D DO IT. Prayerfully surround yourself with solid people that love God and like teens. Take them to conferences, other churches, whatever. Dream together. Whatever you do, stop trying to do it all yourself. Give people SPECIFIC descriptions of what the ministry needs.--I probably struggle with this the most, because I can always think of one more thing I wish we could do in our ministry. Thankfully, we're about to undergo an evaluation in our ministry (from Youth Ministry Architects) and after that process, we're going to have a good framework within which we'll be able to invite people into our student ministry, making it better for our students, for our youth staff, and for me.

5. Keep it simple. Look at that calendar you just created, you know, the one you worked on the details for five minutes and the graphic look for six hours. If I showed you your calendar in the future, you'd say I was crazy. But here's what will save you from killing your family: keep it simple! You actually don't have to have a huge event every weekend. As a matter of fact, do your absolute best to not ever (that means never) have back to back weekend events. You should have a certain day off. Your family should be able to expect you home at least some nights of the week. Do your big events maybe every other month, and do them on a night when you have youth group (that's when they're used to coming anyway).--Reading "Simple Church", "Sustainable Youth Ministry" and paying attention to those times when I scheduled myself ragged have absolutely changed how I think about how ministry is supposed to be done. Main thing here is to prayerfully consider what needs to be done, what can wait, and what can land on the cutting room floor. Really. I'd be embarrassed to show you the amount of activity in our early years versus the (hopefully) more productive and focused things that we're doing currently.

Ok, that's it. I am grateful for people's patience with me way back when and of course these days.