5 THINGS I WISH I'D DONE FROM THE BEGINNING

Just reflecting on the almost ten years in full-time ministry (ok, I think my internship could actually count as two years!), I was thinking of what I wish I could go back and convince myself to do from the beginning. So here are my top 5 things I'd recommend to April 2000 me(in no particular order), and what I'm working on now.

1. Get out of your stinking office! Seriously, you can have the baddest calendar on the planet complete with the most popular fonts, but if you're not spending a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME with the people you're actually ministering to and with, what ARE you doing? --What I've done recently is to make a rotation of schools to visit. It's much easier to keep a time set aside when it's on the calendar. It's not a perfect system, but it's working WAY better than before.

2. Accountability, accountability, accountability. You're in a job where not many bother to ask you how YOU'RE doing spiritually; just face it and get used to it. For real, get somebody whom you can trust in and count on to check in with you, making sure you're spending time with Jesus, growing in your faith, and taking your days off. This will make or break you; so let it make you.--I do not know where I'd be without my accountability partners, but I bet I wouldn't be in ministry and I'd probably be miserable.

3. Build relationships with parents as well as students. This is one you're going to be tempted to gloss over for a while; but you're an idiot if you do. YOU ARE NOT THE MAIN SPIRITUAL INFLUENCE IN A STUDENT'S LIFE. And that's OK. Start meeting parents, get to know them, befriend them, be there for them. This pays big dividends down the line.Do not skip this.--This is something I've known for a while, but am trying to do a much better job of recently. The longer I do this, the more I see the benefits, whether it's bragging on a kid's progress, or the ability to ask what's really going on at home: THIS IS INVALUABLE.

4. Let other people help you. Ok, you do this full-time and there are times you're going to think "I can't believe this is part of my job! It's more fun than work!" That's fine. But the old adage "many hands makes light work" is just as true today as it ever was. There are some things you're not good at- swallow your pride and let somebody who is talented in an area do what you will most definitely screw up- EVEN IF THEY DON'T GET IT DONE THE WAY YOU'D DO IT. Prayerfully surround yourself with solid people that love God and like teens. Take them to conferences, other churches, whatever. Dream together. Whatever you do, stop trying to do it all yourself. Give people SPECIFIC descriptions of what the ministry needs.--I probably struggle with this the most, because I can always think of one more thing I wish we could do in our ministry. Thankfully, we're about to undergo an evaluation in our ministry (from Youth Ministry Architects) and after that process, we're going to have a good framework within which we'll be able to invite people into our student ministry, making it better for our students, for our youth staff, and for me.

5. Keep it simple. Look at that calendar you just created, you know, the one you worked on the details for five minutes and the graphic look for six hours. If I showed you your calendar in the future, you'd say I was crazy. But here's what will save you from killing your family: keep it simple! You actually don't have to have a huge event every weekend. As a matter of fact, do your absolute best to not ever (that means never) have back to back weekend events. You should have a certain day off. Your family should be able to expect you home at least some nights of the week. Do your big events maybe every other month, and do them on a night when you have youth group (that's when they're used to coming anyway).--Reading "Simple Church", "Sustainable Youth Ministry" and paying attention to those times when I scheduled myself ragged have absolutely changed how I think about how ministry is supposed to be done. Main thing here is to prayerfully consider what needs to be done, what can wait, and what can land on the cutting room floor. Really. I'd be embarrassed to show you the amount of activity in our early years versus the (hopefully) more productive and focused things that we're doing currently.

Ok, that's it. I am grateful for people's patience with me way back when and of course these days.

APPARENTLY WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE

After what was undoubtedly one of my most productive days of work in a while, I am angry at myself for my shortcomings. I say productive, because I recorded a training video for our youth staff, had a good staff meeting with our pastor, met with Mule Day people about a possible fundraiser, met with two potential youth staffers, and got to catch up with one of our youth staffers with a short visit. So I was feeling pretty good about today. Then I get the text. "Can you please go lock up the church?" Sure. No problem. I live here on campus; it's no sweat. I go over, lock up and notice some lights left on. This always bothers me, but what can you do? I'm glad that ministry was happening all over our church with Upward! But I digress...
I'm going around turning out lights and I spot them. The one thing I had printed up especially to be passed out THIS week at school. There they were, stacks of our video game tournament handouts. I feel like I failed at explaining the objective for these: to bring friends that do not go to church to our video game tournament. Some people were just getting one for them. They're not to just remind you we're having it. It's for OTHERS. Well, tonight was just a big fat reminder of my need for clarification in my communication. Good gravy. God please help me to do better. And please stop all this ridiculous snow.

We're not going to talk about anyone, good or bad, unless they're here.

Last night we looked at Matthew 18:15-17, where Jesus is giving his followers some simple instructions on how to correct another believer.
I began laying out a new guideline for Grace Student Ministries, a simple idea that can have profound effects if we'll stick to it (I'm pretty sure I borrowed the idea from someone else...can't remember who though); here it is: "We're not going to talk about anybody else, good or bad, unless they're here."

The reason is this, we want to kill as much he said/she said/they said as we possibly can. Out of love for one another, we want to build people up and not tear each other down. I'm really hoping and will be praying that this will be a year of healthy growth in our group. Our group is not unique in facing issues like this; this has been a common theme in every group I've been a part of over the years.

I know that it will be easier to not speak ill of someone than it is to speak well of someone. I get that. But the whole point is to keep triggering us to much more carefully think of how and when we talk about others. I know it will not be easy, I know that for me this will be a change; and I'll need God's help to do it.

I had one of our students (Kenan) record it on our camera. I wanted to test the new memory card we got and there were people unable to be with us due to the snowy/icy road conditions. If I put it up, it'll be on vimeo.com/derekwhitten.